No way out

while I'm writing this, I am actually on my way to KL. I mean Hentian Bas Jalan Duta, which is of course in KL. okey nothing big. went home during the study week because yey!! finish my final project. wehoooooo!!! so yeaph. if wanna checl my final project model, you are more than welcome to visit my ig acc. 

12:48 am - [loo break] brb

12:55 am - so umm im kinda bored on the bus and i was bored aaaaaannnddd my mind keep wandering on Outlast (this is AWESOME HORROR GAME eva!! i mean so far) Outlast 2, i checked it'll be out by fall 2016. yeeeyyy!! can't wait. 

my mind also wander on my not-even-exist-bae, Jacob Frye. :))))))) ❤💙💚💛💜💓💕💕💗💖😚😚 omg this guy i just can't. *fan girl mode ON* anyway, since the end of the Environmental Design, I've geen reading a lot, A LOT of Jacob fics. whether 'x Reader' or 'x original female character'. and since Jacob is canonically bisexual, im not even surprised seeing the tag 'Jacob x original male character'. not surprised.

anywah, yeah one of my fav. Jacon fics is Blinding. this one is jus an A++++ for the storyline and writing. 

second, The Dove and the Rook - also an A++++ but the fic hadn't been updated for quite sometime. probably the author is busy hmmm... 

third, is a new comer, Old Habit/(s). omg this one!!!! aaaaahhh the FLUFF IS INTENSE!! what, what the hell is FLUFF??? 

[ergh!! someone is snoring so loud beside me. ugh. and i am in the single seat]

i'll tell you later. so most of the fics i read, most... i read them at archiveonourown.com. this site is more than a stockpile of fandoms and fanfics *fan self*. also read them on tumblr. and wattpad. so yeahhp. :)

so you wanna know what fluff is?
fluff kinda like a tag. if a fanfic has the tag fluff, then the contents of the fic would probably full of sweet and cute things that you imagine your future husband or boyfriend would do to you. i usually die a little bit inside when a Jacob fic has the tag 'fluff' and 'angst'

angst - where the fic has a sad content. my fav. also because i like sad endings. and even though i like sad endings, i never satisfied with it because then i saw the fic as unfinished.

aaaaannndddsmut - where the fic has sexual content. *intensely rolls eyes* jusy stay away. one thing about a fic, ANY fic tagged with 'smut' is that 'the end result is always the same'. some of these fic are just...sometime you can't brain it that it's just funny. 

all my three fav. fics so far do not contain smut so phewh. so yeay!! the fluff so intense i once again...can't !!!! i also like fics which has graphic violence thing tag. as for me, i gotta give it to the author of Blinding. so far, to say that you love someone it doesn't have to be through sex. all you need to do is just care and be there when someone needed you the most. i mean that's what I've noticed from the fic. soo yeahp. 

idk whether i should write my opinion on Outlast. because i finished watching the walkthrough on Thursday. and on Friday (30/4/2016), i finished watching the walkthrough for Outlast: Whistleblower, a downloadable content. this dlc is even more intense than Outlast. maybe... idk. hmm maybe i will. i guess i write when i feel like it.

*shrugs*

1:32 am - still not sleep. i wanna eat. bye. 

A beg for mercy

He had been three weeks since Semester break which only last for a couple of days. Hmm, very sad and since that holiday, I hadn’t stop working. Yknow I am architecture/environmental design foundation program student, and basically ‘work’ means projects and assignments.

Basically, daripada hari Isnin petang aku sampai tu, teruih aku keluaq pi Midvalley sebab nak bayaq bill Yes. Ha, okay settle. Malam tu tak tidoq tau ak sebab aku still dok buat mock up model. Mock up model tu tau ak yang second punya. Yang first tinggal atas bus. Kalau tidak nak buat mock up model tu hari selasa masa cuti sem tu. Punya semangatlah aku nak buat model tu. Aku cari la beg plastik yang ada model tu. Punya la cari, tengok2 tak dak. Then it hits me. Allah! Tinggal atas bas. Perh! Broken gila aku. So tak pa la. Petang selasa tu pun pi la First Touch, beli model board yang tebal. Nasib pisau aku tu pun baru lagi. Gagahla makan board tebai tu. Aku start buat model tu malam rabu (malam pada hari rabu/malam menjelang khamis) sampaila awal pagi Khamis. Besa la kan budak archi. Uhukhukhuk. So that’s my sem break

Sampai CFSIIUM petang Isnin tu, keluaq pi Mid, bayaq bill and beli makanan kot tak silap aku. Stok makanan untuk seminggu. Ha tak pa la. Memandangkan malam isnin tu akan jadi busy aku pun skip la official dinner. Makan maggi ja. Then tidoq sat. pukul 1, ka 2 pagi, aku tak ingat bangun, buat model. Tak ingat la buat sikit ka banyak. Tu dah hamper sebulan yang lepas. Hihihi. Tak pa la. Hari rabu consultation. Okay ada bahagian approved. Tambah sikit2. Malam khamis, yezza start potong board model yang betul2 punya. Konon nak buat slow2 la sampai weekend. Tengok2 weekend malam ahad sampai pagi isnin tu struggle buat. Aku punya model lagi payah lagi pada orang len. *angkat2 kening*

Model check, representation board check. Isnin kena presentation model tu. Haa takpa la. Gambar pun okey edit lawa orait, nak print. Buat la document, susun gambar2, edit apa semua. Okay letak dlm pendrive. Pendrive aku tum mg ada virus, tpi kadang2 bley la jugak letak file. Haa tak pa la. Pi la kedai print. Dah la jauh nak mampoih. Demi gambaq yang berkualiti aku sanggup jalan jauh. Sampai kedai print, cucuk pendrive kat computer, Allah file tak dak pulak dalam pendrive. Aku pun balik la bilik, nasib la satu tingkat ja, last2 bluetooth file masuk fon, pi la kedai print balik. Allah. Dengan lepas hujan waktu tu, dengan dahaganya. Aku tak makan wei. Haritu payah ah aku nak makan benda bergula satu saat pon. Dah print apa semua, pi la studio, studio kat mahallah. Ha pi la lepas tu. Gunting lekat gambaq pa semua, baru hantaq presentation board kat office lect. Jalan lagi. Ya Allah

Esok hari selasa submission untuk workbook dngn drawing. Malangnya malam isnin tu exam statistics. Takleh la rehat, ingat nak makan bihun tomyam. Balik presentation teruih aku tidoq sampai pukul 7. Ada la study satu mukasurat ja daripada nota yang lect. Bagi. Betui wei aku tak bohong. Okay tak la satu mukasurat tapi aku skip2 la. Baca ni sikit, ni sikit. Then masuk la exam hall. Jawab la. Aku pun macam. Hah! Aku tak kisah la. Sorry sebab mencarut. I don’t give a fuck la. Aku jujur ni perasaan aku. Haa. Lantak la. Balik exam statistic tu aku tdoq la dulu, baru buat bangun lukisan ngn workbook tu. Sebab workbook tak guna tu, aku pun skip class research skill. Haa kelas tu pun tak guna jugak. Lukisan aku tu pun hah lantak lah. Aku malas nak emo emo ni. Mampuih mung ah!

Malam selasa tu pun rehat la.

Esok tu rabu. Okay new project. Board site analysis. Bro afiq, lect. Sambilan utk studio kami pun masuk. Okay bagitau kena buat apa. Lepas tu pi site. Dah habis pa semua kat site tu, balik bilik. Hmm apa lagi tidoq ah. So malam tu rilek la sikit. Study IRK. Aku igt gagahla A- sbb IRK senang, and straight forward lagi dripada RKA. Exam IRK hari sabtu. Haa tak pa la. Jumaat kelas cancel. Walaupun cancel, kmi meet up jugak sbb board site analysis tu group work. Talk about my findings we my group and the design of the layout for the board pa semua, then dismissed. Esok, Sabtu, exam. Soalan last tu aku jawab satu ayat ja. Yg len penuh sebab aku Frye jer. Hehehehe. Yes man Jacob Frye is still my bae. Habih exam tu fuh lega. Pa lagi an keluaq ah. Pukul 12 aku keluaq, pukui 2 sebelum pukui 3 balik dah. Igt nak tgk zootopia tapi slot sikit. Lepas tu beratoq panjang. Aku dah tak sabaq, so aku pi shopping buku ah, barang makanan then, Subway.

Then hari Ahad. Rilek2 lagi. Ya la recover kononnya. Aku bangun malas2 pagi tu. Ya lah whats the rush. Yang board tu submission isnin minggu depan. Ho rilek2 la. Maghrib around 7:37…rasanya la. Madam hantaq kat whatsapp submission untuk board site analysis tu kena hantaq rabu (23/3). Aku muka pokerface ah. YG HARI JUMAAT HARITU TK BAGITAU PULAK. HOOO NAK NAIK GILA TAU AK. So kiranya malam Ahad tu malam last before we go into our sleepless battles sampai hari rabu.

Isnin tu pun, okay you fuckas, im ready. Tapi hari Isnin tu pun sebenarnya aku penat jugak la. Team mate aku ni ada la yg trace balik plan guna kaedah carboning. So haa tak pa la. Aku offer nak ink. Masalahnya jugak la sebab semua nak buat kat bilik. Untuk aku senang lagi la kalua buat kat studio. At least 2 orang bleh handle 1 board. So tak pa la. Aku tidoq awal hari tu dalam pukul 12. Aku bangun 6:30 hari selasa tu. Kelas pukul 8. Ya Allah tak sangga malasnya wei. Punya la awal kelas. Like dude chill. Kelas ICT pukul 8. Ha pi la kelas ICT pun. Balik kelas pukui 10 tidoq lagi. Lepas team mate whatsapp

“weh aku siap dah trace plan”

*dok mamai* “haa 5 minit lagi aku pi”

Bangun 10:49. Kelas IRK pukul 11. Tapi masa aku tidoq tu aku tak buang tudung, so jimat la masa. Pi la bilik kawan aku kt tingkat 2 ni. Ambik board. Pi balik bilik aku, ambik beg pi kelas. Kelas IRK went well. After lunch, - aku lunch bukan sebab aku lalu sebab aku tau badan aku perlukan makanan – aku pack pi studio. Aku macam ah aku tak kisah, wei apa2 studio tau senang sikit. Haaa ternyata lebih senang. Buat la kerja aku pun ink la lukisan plan tu dengan drawing pen.

Selasa tu kan memang ajaib ah. Walaupun esok tu rabu, esok tu submission, dan lagi aku makan chicken chop ngn basuh baju. Like, okay. Aku turun pi studio pakai hoodie ngn trackbottom yang besaq bapak tu. Tapi best ooh sebab dia besaq, mcm free ja movement. Haa tak pa la. Lepas dah ink semua tu, kaler la. Pun masalah jugak sebab marker pun dah nak habih ink. Tutuh la guna jugak. Aku volunteer nak render bila dah habis nanti. Nasib aku cukup rehat dah sehari sebelum tu. Yang team mate aku yang lain ni ada yg dah mamai dah. So tak pa la aku gigih jugak. Pukul 7:30. Ada ka dak kelas stats, memang aku plan tak mau pi pun. Oky test arab pukul 9. Masa tu aku soang ja la kat studio. Ada brothers yg otw pi class. Aku dok merender lagi dari tadi. Dgn tak duduk. Aku nak angkat tangan ah. Konon “PA KHABAQ BRADER??” konon cool la an. Tapi tak penah buat pun sebab masa depa lalu tu aku dok sibuk dok render. Why can I do that? Sbb depa mcam nerd gila. Aku ni cam cool ah lagi dari depa. hehehe

Silap pagi rabu tu test Arab. Pi la test arab. Aku siap dalam 15 minit ja. Fuh. Laju aku. AKU STUDY TERAMAT LA SIKIT MACAM TAK STUDY LANGSUNG. ADA AKU KISAH??! Pi kelas kan bukak kertas soalan, Masya-Allah, apa kejadah ni????????!!!!!!!!!!!! Aku dengan tak tidoq waktu tu, tak tidoq langsung. Last aku tidoq sebelum tu pun masa sebelum kelas IRK hari selasa tu, iaitu pukul 11 pgi. AKU PUN APA LAGI, AH LANTAK AH. MAMPOIH AH BUKANNYA KIRA CGPA PUN. Tara dok jawab soalan tu pun aku boleh tertidoq, mmg aku perlukan sangat wei. Dengan lapaq, perut dok bunyi kruuuuu ja. Suka tak suka, aku makan jugak biskut masa dok jawab test tu. Lapaq sangat wehhh! Aku ngn kawan satu studio aku keluaq dulu ah.

SUMPAH SATU APA PON AKU TAK PAHAM. SATU HABUK APA PON AKU TAK PAHAM!!!!! Mampoih ah. Aku mabuk kot masa tu dengan board dok dalam kepala hotak lagi. Aku dengan mabuknya waktu tu, pasang la lagu, tak pasang headphone. Malas ah. Satgi tersangkut pulak kan. Sambal dok render lukisan plan tu. Sakit jari weh. Haaaaaiiii tapi tu lah buat jugak. Dengan lantai bersepah aku tanya la kawan studio aku satu lagi  “Rai ada penyapu tak?” “Ada” “tolong bawak turun boleh? Nak sapu sampah?” “haa boleh” aku rasa bersalah ah kot kacau dia an “emm takpa la nnti guna penyapu bilik kami” dia pun angguk2 ja la. But she’s such a sweet angel. Dia bawak turun penyapu ngn penyodok. Aku pun terharu.

Aku dengan sakit tangan waktu, sakit belakang sebab buat kerja tak duduk, sapu la sampah. Terbongok bongkok kang. Dah habih sapu tu aku pi la beli pepsi ngn sandwich. Nasib la makanan ada. Kiosk tak bukak waktu sbb pakcik jaga kedai tu rehat. Hmm konon la. Lama sungguh dia punya rehat. Aku nak basuh tangan nak makan sandwich. Dah memandangkan aku tak tidoq ngn aku dok steady buat kerja sampai terbongkok-bongkok, aku pun jalan la slow, and terbongkok sikit. Slow gila ah aku jalan. Masa aku jalan balik pi studio, bila dah gaya buka pintu tu an aku dengaq, “teka dah”. Aku macam like that is so offensive. Untuk aku la kan ngn tak tidoq ngn otak tah betui ka dak waktu tu. Aku cam. HANG PASAIPA. SHUT UP U BITCH U KNOW NOTHING WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING THE WHOLE DAY!!!! Like I said I wasn’t in my right mind that moment. That presentation. Haa lantakla dengan presentation. Tara mengantuk tu pun, I think my presentation was quite okay in the same time quite mild or ceroi or cayaq something like that. But for me it was okay la.

We celebrate by having Chatime that evening. Intan tolong order. Aku order caramel latte. Sementara nak tunggu order sampai, aku naik la bilik. Konon tak mau tidoq, hmm tidoq jugak. Adrina mai kat aku ngn chatime aku. Huhuhu terharu lagi. Aku bangun terkejut ah. Dia kata takpa anis tidor. Aku pun tidoq ah. Haaa daripaa petang tu aku tidoq dgn baju kurung, pukul 10:16 pm baru aku bangun. Herh! Lepas mandi apa semua baru la minum chatime and makan maggi and layan Sherlock. Yey! Aku tak share chatime aku ngn sapa pon pon sebab I DESERVE THIS DRINK MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THIS ROOM. I BUST MY ASS OFF, BUSS MY SLEEP, MY ENERGY TO STAY UP LATE TO MAKESURE THAT DAMN BOARDS FINISHED. SO I DESERVED EVERY SIP OF THIS DRINK. Kalua tidak aku nak share tapi neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhh.. I was like DUDE YOU DESERVE THIS DRINK BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID LAST NIGHT. SO DRINK UP! So yeah. I did. it's almost 1 am, sunday when im typing this out. what three weeks it had been. tak sangka.